Most public speaking advice is designed to eliminate your nerves.
That’s exactly why it doesn’t work.
Here’s a number worth knowing: 77% of people fear public speaking. Which means the person giving the speech and half the people watching them are anxious at the same time. You are not a uniquely challenged communicator. You are incredibly human.
And yet the advice floating around out there treats you like the problem. Fix yourself before you get on stage. Trick your brain. Perform confidence you don’t feel.
I spent years as a publicist in NYC coaching chefs, wellness leaders, and executives to show up on camera, on stage, and through Q&As with journalists. Then I became a Visibility Coach and Hypnotherapist who specializes in exactly this. What I’ve seen in both careers is the same bad advice, recycled over and over, making people feel worse.
Here are the four biggest offenders, and what to do instead.
1. “Imagine Your Audience Naked”
Just no.
This is distracting, a little strange, and does nothing when your heart is already pounding and your mouth has gone dry. Your brain doesn’t calm down because you’ve made everyone in the room vaguely ridiculous.
Do this instead: Remind yourself that most audiences are rooting for you. They showed up. They want you to deliver something useful. Use your imagination to actually support you. Picture a room full of people who are glad you’re there.
2. “Memorize Your Talk Word for Word”
This one creates a trap. Lose one line and the whole presentation can unravel.
Your nervous system doesn’t need more pressure. It needs more safety cues. The goal is to know your topic so well you could talk about it with a friend over coffee. Then when you’re presenting, focus on structure, not script.
Do this instead: Learn your opening, your closing, your main points, and your transitions. That’s the skeleton. And if you want talking points on a cheat sheet, bring them. They do it at the Oscars. You’re allowed to.
3. “Start By Telling Everyone You’re Nervous”
Remember that 77% number? Your audience is likely nervous on your behalf before you even open your mouth. When you lead with your anxiety, you shift the focus from your message to your symptoms, and now your audience is managing their feelings about your feelings.
Do this instead: Lead with clarity. A clear, grounded opening sentence does more to settle a room than any confession. Acknowledge the moment briefly if you need to. Then move forward.
4. “Kick Off with a Joke”
If humor comes naturally to you, use it. If it doesn’t, forcing it is one more thing to be anxious about before you even get to your actual content.
Do this instead: Lead with something that feels organic to you. A bold statement. A question. A specific story. You don’t need to be funny. You need to be engaged with the audience.
Here’s What All of This Bad Advice for Public Speaking Anxiety Has in Common
It treats nervousness like a problem to fix before you speak.
It isn’t.
Nervousness means the moment of sharing matters to you. That energy is not something you must eliminate in order to be a good speaker. The speakers who resonate aren’t the ones who have zero fear. They’re the ones who feel it and keep going anyway.
Public speaking is a skill. And it’s learnable.
Ready to Overcome Public Speaking Anxiety?
If public speaking anxiety has been preventing you from progressing in your business or career, the issue usually isn’t your preparation. It’s what’s happening beneath the surface, in the part of your mind that decides whether it’s safe to be seen.
That’s exactly what a Hypnosis for Success session is designed to address. In a session, we start focusing on the subconscious patterns keeping you stuck, so you can step into a room, a stage, or a camera frame without the same old dread.
Sessions are available online and at the Spa at the Four Seasons Hotel New York Downtown.
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